Truth is i’m lost in my life right now, I feel like I have many great things and opportunities but instead I refuse the good and lean towards the bad. I hate that I don’t have anyone to talk to as much as I used to. I had avoided very close friends who I could count on and talk to but I hate how they don’t exist within my life anymore, I miss them. I’m so grateful for my brothers, i want to go out and experience the world with them, but it seems we all have different plans. I want to live a life of art, success, passion, positivity, and hope. I’ve given up on a lot of things, whether it’s friends, family, education, health, mind, soul. I love rap music, some soft, some tough, rap and hip hop gives me the vibes of soul and passion. I love basketball, the only way for me to release negative oxygen, a way for me to relax and realize how good of a player I am with my skill set and IQ. I love fashion, dressing well and looking good, I’ve found a new appreciation for fashion, mix and match, colour coordinated, something simple yet flashy. I love art as well, never much growing up, but over time I found a new appreciation and been looking up to artists like Picasso, basquiat, Warhol, haring. Life is art, we are a form of art. The way we live, look, and do things. I want to make it big one day, I want to show everyone who I am and what I can do. I feel like I’ve been looked down upon my whole entire life, I admit that I have terrible depression and choose to be depressed and it sucks. I can’t remember the last time I was truly happy, maybe when I was in a relationship but that was years ago. I’m still in this phase of soul searching, but I know who I am. I may be a late bloomer, but if there’s one thing, I hope I do bloom, otherwise i’m still in this cocoon waiting to open my wings and soar into the world of challenges and obstacles. I need to change something, my habits and my life, I can’t continue being this person I am. I’m not happy. I’m not satisfied. I want to ball right now. I should focus on my job and career and education is what everyone says. I just want to live an artistic life going from zero to a hunnit. Time is fast and slow. Time never stops. The time we have left is gone. I will never be able to recover the time lost, only to use the time given in order to create something magnificent. Im the canvas, my mind is the pallet filled with colours, my life is the art I live in this world. I have so much hatred and I hate it. I have so much negative and i’m sick of it. My best self is truly a sight to witness, my worst self is a distraction from the good. Dear Jake, fuck what anyone says or think, I know me and you know you. I’m too good for this shit anyways.